Mac DeMarco - My Kind of Woman
I hate that I live in an age where emotional unavailability is cool. Where we purposefully wait to call a person back for days, contemplate who texts first, refuse to respond twice, and all for what? To make us look mysterious, or unattached? When we are attracted to someone we try SO hard to not show it. When did not caring about anything become cool? Its a power game; the person who cares less has all the power. Because you’ve made yourself a little vulnerable. Because you fear that your coming on too strong, and their reciprocation of your feelings relies solely on the minutes it take them to respond to you. I think everyone fears coming on too strong at least a little bit but, if I like you, I’m not thinking about what you might think if I text you a smiley face or a wink or if you don’t reply within 2 minutes what it all means, because it doesn’t mean anything. If I like you, I’m thinking about how to uncover what makes you fucking tick. If I like you, I’m contemplating the birth mark on your collarbone, and the way you raise one eyebrow when you know someone is full of shit. If I like you, I’m worrying about if my strange music taste will be up to par with your outstanding ear for smooth jazz music. If I like you, I’m thinking about real things. Real things that you do and that you are because it matters. If I like you, there will be a thousand and one other things on my mind before I the thought of some 130 lettered text on a screen and what you’ll think if I respond with “hey” or “hi” even enters the same realm. And the fact that thinking about your eyes instead of purposefully ignoring you makes me clingy and girly and stupid, blows my fucking mind. The whole fucking point of me liking you, is that I want to know you and show you that I care about your existence and I want to somehow take up a bigger space in your life you’re down with that, and when the fuck did that become uncool?